Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
