She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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