I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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