so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
