My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
