You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
