The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
