He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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