I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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