It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
where am i from again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
