ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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