I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
