my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
