covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
