Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
