Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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