Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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