some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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