The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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