big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
