Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
