I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
