Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
my poor anus
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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