i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
