HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
