how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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