Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
