You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
