We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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