hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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