i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
