and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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