worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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