Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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