i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
