i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
