Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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