omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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