we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
