Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im holly from the hills drunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
