Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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