Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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