take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
