my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
