We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
