When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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