Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
