I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
