Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
