She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
